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Rank: Frosh
Joined: 2/24/2012
Posts: 5
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Hey guys,
Basically in first year of uni and finding it really hard to make friends. Things were great at the start, was getting on with my flatmates, but over the last few months they started doing their own thing and didnt bother including me in it. I have made friends on my course but they all dont live on campus so finding it very lonely when i get back to halls. Its getting me down a lot and just wanted to know if you guys had any tips on how i can really get out there and try to make new friends. I know the period for meeting new people is kinda over and only have one month of uni left but I really wanna try improve my situation before second year.
Thanks in advance!
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Rank: Student Body President
Joined: 6/3/2011
Posts: 2,118
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Join a sports team! I moved to Toronto in September to start my Master's program. I live off campus with my boyfriend and am not close friends with anyone in my department (we are friendly, just don't hang out outside of school). I joined a varsity team at U of T and instantly got to know 25 girls. They are different ages, in different programs, from different places.
If you're not athletically inclined, join a club. Similar premise.
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Rank: Student Body President
Joined: 12/13/2010
Posts: 1,054
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Agreed with ktel, join a club! And it's really never too late to make friends at school, I didn't become friends with one of my best guy friends from undergrad until 3rd year. If you want to become closer with your flatmates, why don't you suggest an activity (movies, bar, dinner etc) and invite them? Sometimes you gotta make the first move. McMaster Bachelor of Health Sciences 2011
U of Guelph-OVC Doctor of Veterinary Medicine 2015
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Rank: Frosh
Joined: 2/24/2012
Posts: 5
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@ktel - I have been looking at joining sport teams, but again too shy to go on my own and worried to go because Im afraid that everyones gotten to know each other. I am thinking of joining a sports team next year, cos theres only 1 month left so dont see any point of joining. I am trying to join some charity clubs too try and make more friends.
@inthemaking - I know what you mean but like its just with my flatmates have ignored me on purpose and chose to exclude me on purpose, i think its because they are all asian and i am the only the white person in my flat. I will try joining some more clubs but just worried about next year. I am a very sociable person but just dont understand why im not having a great time at uni, i look at other flats and they seem to be having fun because their flatmates are more outgoing and include each other when they do things. Im worried about living out next year cos i dont know who to live with :(. But thanks for the advice x
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Rank: Senior Student
Joined: 12/29/2010
Posts: 144
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Asians tend to form cliques with each other and ignore everyone else. Don't be too hard on yourself with respect to not being tight with your roomies in this case. The problem is with them; not you. You just got unlucky drawing them for roommates.
If you're looking to share a place with someone next year, ask your off-campus friends if they might be looking for a place next year. You could even kijiji student houses around campus that are looking for an extra person to fill a spot in the house.
Btw don't worry about not knowing anyone when joining a team or club. I don't know what school you go to, but at UWO you can sign up for a sport as a free agent. The teams are formed at random, so you don't have to worry about everyone knowing everyone else but you.
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Rank: Frosh
Joined: 2/24/2012
Posts: 5
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@Gorges26
Thanks for your advice mate, really cheered me up! Just hope the last month goes well and i make more mates.
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Rank: Valedictorian
Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 565
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Yeah, try intramurals. You could either try and get someone to join a team with you, or if you can't do that you can do what Gorges26 suggested and be a free-agent. Teams are often looking for that one other person, so they'll probably be quite happy to get you on the team. That's a good opportunity to try and get to know some people. After the game, do as inthemaking suggested and ask them if they want to go to dinner/movies/bar/whatever, and hopefully they don't turn you down. Intramurals is a good way to get to know people (especially if it's totally non-competitive) as everyone's just out for fun and you share something common with them (like to play the sport).
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Rank: Senior Student
Joined: 12/29/2010
Posts: 144
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RonaldWeasley wrote:Gorges26 wrote:Asians tend to form cliques with each other and ignore everyone else. Don't be too hard on yourself with respect to not being tight with your roomies in this case. The problem is with them; not you. You just got unlucky drawing them for roommates.
Don't be racist Some people do create cliques but not all cliques are Asian. Stereotyping offends people so don't do it Read my post again. I didn't say that all cliques are Asian. FWIW, all people from a similar race/culture tend to gravitate towards each other, but I'd say this is even more true with Asians. The OP happens to be a white person living amongst Asians, so it's obvious what's happening here. Secondly, I don't really care if what I said offends people when it's true. My intent was to give the OP a sense of perspective, even if I had to be politically incorrect about it. Real life isn't a diversity brochure.
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Rank: Senior Student  Joined: 12/20/2010 Posts: 172
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Which university? My advice? Join clubs, sports, etc. EASIEST WAY TO MEET PEOPLE Introduce urselves to people in your class (trust me in a 600 person class which is boring as **** there will be someone who will be happy to meet you) Meet more people in your residences? Gorges26 is right. As sad as it sounds. It's not only asians though but all races where there is a minority presence (but enough to form a clique). I personally do not care about what race someone is and care more about who they are as a person. Western Ivey AEO2 w/Economics
Accepted to:
Ivey AEO w/ Econ
Schulich BBA
Laurier/Waterloo BBA/BMath
Waterloo AFM-PA
Queen's Commerce
"In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces." Zapp Brannigan
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Rank: Student Council
Joined: 3/13/2011
Posts: 388
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Do friends actually matter?
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Rank: Student Body Vice-President
Joined: 5/15/2011
Posts: 702
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RonaldWeasley wrote:Gorges26 wrote:Asians tend to form cliques with each other and ignore everyone else. Don't be too hard on yourself with respect to not being tight with your roomies in this case. The problem is with them; not you. You just got unlucky drawing them for roommates.
Don't be racist Some people do create cliques but not all cliques are Asian. Stereotyping offends people so don't do it "Asians tend to form cliques" ---> Asian => cliques "Some people do create cliques but not all cliques are Asian" ---> cliques !=> Asian Uh... his logic seems to support your claim. Just because you're Asian doesn't mean you should assume he thinks poorly of you :P I would also possibly presume that his flatmates might be Asian immigrants rather than Canadian-born Asians. In general, when you are away from your home country, you tend to be far more cliquey. Combine this with the typical Asian values of community and you find lots of cliquyness. It's not a bad thing or a reflection on all Asian peoples, just the statement of a trend. People ITT are saying "sports! sports! sports!" I personally hate sports. You could join a non-athletic student group, like a club for your academic major? Meeting people in your program/classes often means you get along better with them.
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Rank: Frosh
Joined: 2/24/2012
Posts: 5
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I am not racist but honestly the way they've made me feel is out of order, i came to uni to meet people of different backgrounds and they just shut me out when they do things just cos im not asian? lol its stupid. Its even worst they bring their mates over and dont bother introducing me to them, they just sit there in silence whilst im in the kitchen. I will defo give that all a try but coming to the end going into second year looking for accomodation but with guys who are so boring and geeky, honestly not what I though uni would be like. Hopefully 2nd year is better!
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Rank: Senior Student  Joined: 11/8/2011 Posts: 89
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drystanweb, what uni do you go to? Are you in a dorm, or apartment style res?
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Rank: Frosh
Joined: 2/24/2012
Posts: 5
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v70 wrote:drystanweb, what uni do you go to? Are you in a dorm, or apartment style res? University of Toronto mate and in halls.
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