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Too smart for guys? Options ▼
littleroom
#21 Posted : Thursday, January 20, 2011 7:59:31 PM
Rank: Valedictorian


Joined: 12/20/2010
Posts: 597
Wouldn't it be frustrating dating someone considerably more stupid than yourself?
g93
#22 Posted : Thursday, January 20, 2011 8:23:07 PM
Rank: Student Body President




Joined: 12/20/2010
Posts: 2,920
jsaroya wrote:
find me a guy who legitimately doesn't mind a girl being smarter than him and i will.... i don't know, i don't even have to think of something to hand over because it's unlikely this could happen

I know of a lot of guys like this. In this case it's probably that the girl feels too smart for him.
ARMY101
#23 Posted : Friday, January 21, 2011 6:03:14 PM
Rank: Grand Poobah


Joined: 3/3/2010
Posts: 19,406
MissThompson wrote:
We were discussing History class at our school (which we are both in) and he asked something and I gave him a full answer with the date and important people in it. Then he said "You are very smart." Then he asked for help with English, which I helped him with and he said "You are very smart." once more.

Right, so he acknowledges you're smart. But has he said "I am breaking up with you because you're too smart for me"?
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DKDG
#24 Posted : Friday, January 21, 2011 6:16:29 PM
Rank: Senior Student




Joined: 12/22/2010
Posts: 107
Take your guy friend to a party and get drunk or something instead of educating him at dinner
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ARMY101
#25 Posted : Saturday, January 22, 2011 9:53:12 AM
Rank: Grand Poobah


Joined: 3/3/2010
Posts: 19,406
jsaroya wrote:
find me a guy who legitimately doesn't mind a girl being smarter than him and i will.... i don't know, i don't even have to think of something to hand over because it's unlikely this could happen


I wouldn't want the girl I'm dating to be smarter than me. Even equal is a little tricky since I'm supposed to maintain the dominant position in the relationship.

There's a fine balance between dating someone who you have superiority over, but not so that they're so stupid they drool when they speak.
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Accepted:
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Carleton University: Honours Science
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lemony
#26 Posted : Saturday, January 22, 2011 9:43:39 PM
Rank: Senior Student


Joined: 11/28/2010
Posts: 212
ARMY101 wrote:
jsaroya wrote:
find me a guy who legitimately doesn't mind a girl being smarter than him and i will.... i don't know, i don't even have to think of something to hand over because it's unlikely this could happen


I wouldn't want the girl I'm dating to be smarter than me. Even equal is a little tricky since I'm supposed to maintain the dominant position in the relationship.

There's a fine balance between dating someone who you have superiority over, but not so that they're so stupid they drool when they speak.

If you are going to be medieval enough as to say that you think the man needs to have the dominant position in the relationship and be smarter than the girl (and I don't even understand how that is possible, because people are more educated in certain subjects than others, and there are many different types of 'smarts'), then I hope your attitude extends to being chivalrous and a perfect gentleman as well.
mynameismattgotmlgo
#27 Posted : Saturday, January 22, 2011 10:29:39 PM
Rank: Student Body President


Joined: 12/22/2010
Posts: 1,935
I agree with Army, and I think you're taking what he said to the extreme. It's natural for men to want to have quite a bit of dominance over their wives. In return, men are to provide protection and food/supplies. Though this seems rather archaic (it is), you can't expect men's brains, which are the products of thousands and thousands of years of evolution, to have changed at the same pace as our rapidly evolving society. It also seems irrational - that's because IT IS. It feels right to want a girl who isn't as able to dominate you as you are able to dominate her. It's reasonable to expect a person's thinking to be rational, but you shouldn't expect the same of one's feelings. You know skydiving is safe, but you don't jump out of the plane because doing so doesn't feel safe.
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Stranger
#28 Posted : Saturday, January 22, 2011 10:39:16 PM
Rank: Student Council




Joined: 1/9/2011
Posts: 470
I wouldn't want to be with a guy whose intelligence level is significantly lower than mine... Either about as intelligent as I am or more intelligent.
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littleroom
#29 Posted : Saturday, January 22, 2011 11:19:32 PM
Rank: Valedictorian


Joined: 12/20/2010
Posts: 597
mynameismattgotmlgo wrote:
It's natural for men to want to have quite a bit of dominance over their wives. In return, men are to provide protection and food/supplies. Though this seems rather archaic (it is), you can't expect men's brains, which are the products of thousands and thousands of years of evolution, to have changed at the same pace as our rapidly evolving society.


Men do a reasonable job of suppressing their natural urges. For example, everytime I'm attracted to a woman, I don't impulsively mount her. In addition, men use condoms, which is against our very evolutionarily sensible intuition to spread our genes when we're in the position to do so. Of course, in being rigorous, one would actually have to go about proving that males like to dominate females. In our closest relatives, bonobos, the social construct is predominately matriarchal. But nevermind such pedantry, men should do a better job of suppressing such urges if indeed they exist.

Stranger wrote:
I wouldn't want to be with a guy whose intelligence level is significantly lower than mine... Either about as intelligent as I am or more intelligent.


That was my earlier point. I think having a mutual intelligence level would be beneficial to both partners for making some interesting conversations - a pillar of successful relationships.
mynameismattgotmlgo
#30 Posted : Sunday, January 23, 2011 12:03:37 AM
Rank: Student Body President


Joined: 12/22/2010
Posts: 1,935
littleroom wrote:
Men do a reasonable job of suppressing their natural urges. For example, everytime I'm attracted to a woman, I don't impulsively mount her. In addition, men use condoms, which is against our very evolutionarily sensible intuition to spread our genes when we're in the position to do so. Of course, in being rigorous, one would actually have to go about proving that males like to dominate females. In our closest relatives, bonobos, the social construct is predominately matriarchal. But nevermind such pedantry, men should do a better job of suppressing such urges if indeed they exist.


You sound like my girlfriend. And it's true: people don't always act on their feelings/urges, but they STILL have those feelings/urges. When you see an attractive woman, you likely do want to mount her (and if you don't, then the guy next to you does), but you don't. You still have that feeling/urge though. (Never did I ever claim, and hopefully didn't imply either, that acting on feeling/urges is right or just - just that people do, especially when doing so is also deemed fairly appropriate [as is the case with a man wanting a woman less intelligent than himself; as is NOT the case in raping a woman you find attractive]. Don't shoot the messenger.)

We can't go back into the past, obviously, but an accepted concept in evolutionary theory as it relates to sexual differences is that the larger, more physically powerful sex is the dominant one, and fossil records do show that men have always been larger than women. Bonobos are sort of an anomaly in that they show little sexual dimorphism, and it isn't totally accepted that their social construct is matriarchal, just that it isn't (blatantly) patriarchal. Regardless of how closely related bonobos are to humans, we are still very different species, and there's no reason to claim that, in regards to male-female relations, bonobos are more like humans than common chimpanzees (which are blatantly patriarchal, much moreso than humans) are like humans.
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deathangel
#31 Posted : Sunday, January 23, 2011 2:05:32 AM
Rank: Senior Student




Joined: 11/29/2010
Posts: 67
Quote:
find me a guy who legitimately doesn't mind a girl being smarter than him and i will.... i don't know, i don't even have to think of something to hand over because it's unlikely this could happen

From my experience, older guys (5-10 years older) love girls who are smart(er) and are able to have a good discussion with about life, love and even politics ;)

Guys my age? Not so much. They tend to get intimated by girls who know more(about anything) than they do.
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littleroom
#32 Posted : Sunday, January 23, 2011 2:33:39 AM
Rank: Valedictorian


Joined: 12/20/2010
Posts: 597
mynameismattgotmlgo wrote:
You sound like my girlfriend. And it's true: people don't always act on their feelings/urges, but they STILL have those feelings/urges. When you see an attractive woman, you likely do want to mount her (and if you don't, then the guy next to you does), but you don't. You still have that feeling/urge though. (Never did I ever claim, and hopefully didn't imply either, that acting on feeling/urges is right or just - just that people do, especially when doing so is also deemed fairly appropriate [as is the case with a man wanting a woman less intelligent than himself; as is NOT the case in raping a woman you find attractive]. Don't shoot the messenger.)

We can't go back into the past, obviously, but an accepted concept in evolutionary theory as it relates to sexual differences is that the larger, more physically powerful sex is the dominant one, and fossil records do show that men have always been larger than women. Bonobos are sort of an anomaly in that they show little sexual dimorphism, and it isn't totally accepted that their social construct is matriarchal, just that it isn't (blatantly) patriarchal. Regardless of how closely related bonobos are to humans, we are still very different species, and there's no reason to claim that, in regards to male-female relations, bonobos are more like humans than common chimpanzees (which are blatantly patriarchal, much moreso than humans) are like humans.


I actually agree with everything you said. I just wanted to add some food for thought.

But really, do men find stupid women attractive? I certainly don't. They're revolting.
mynameismattgotmlgo
#33 Posted : Sunday, January 23, 2011 1:15:35 PM
Rank: Student Body President


Joined: 12/22/2010
Posts: 1,935
If that's what you're thinking, then you're thinking wrong. We aren't saying that guys find stupid women attractive; we're saying that guys would prefer to have girlfriends/wives who are not smarter than themselves. That is, guys like girls who are about as smart or slightly dumber than they are. This works out nicely because lots of girls want a guy who is as smart as they are or smarter. Guys don't want girls considerably smarter than themselves; girls don't want guys considerably dumber than themselves.
BMSc Honours Specialization in Medical Science, Minor in Psychology, UWO '09
Bachelor of Pharmacy, University of Alberta '13 - Drop out as of '11
University Certificate in Finance, Athabasca University '12
Power Engineering Certificate, NAIT '14
Stranger
#34 Posted : Sunday, January 23, 2011 2:23:22 PM
Rank: Student Council




Joined: 1/9/2011
Posts: 470
>.>
It's not like she said "I'm just 99.99% smart."
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ARMY101
#35 Posted : Sunday, January 23, 2011 6:46:37 PM
Rank: Grand Poobah


Joined: 3/3/2010
Posts: 19,406
lemony wrote:
ARMY101 wrote:
jsaroya wrote:
find me a guy who legitimately doesn't mind a girl being smarter than him and i will.... i don't know, i don't even have to think of something to hand over because it's unlikely this could happen


I wouldn't want the girl I'm dating to be smarter than me. Even equal is a little tricky since I'm supposed to maintain the dominant position in the relationship.

There's a fine balance between dating someone who you have superiority over, but not so that they're so stupid they drool when they speak.

If you are going to be medieval enough as to say that you think the man needs to have the dominant position in the relationship and be smarter than the girl (and I don't even understand how that is possible, because people are more educated in certain subjects than others, and there are many different types of 'smarts'), then I hope your attitude extends to being chivalrous and a perfect gentleman as well.

Read what Matt said. Grow up and come into the real world.
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lemony
#36 Posted : Sunday, January 23, 2011 9:12:22 PM
Rank: Senior Student


Joined: 11/28/2010
Posts: 212
ARMY101 wrote:
lemony wrote:
ARMY101 wrote:
jsaroya wrote:
find me a guy who legitimately doesn't mind a girl being smarter than him and i will.... i don't know, i don't even have to think of something to hand over because it's unlikely this could happen


I wouldn't want the girl I'm dating to be smarter than me. Even equal is a little tricky since I'm supposed to maintain the dominant position in the relationship.

There's a fine balance between dating someone who you have superiority over, but not so that they're so stupid they drool when they speak.

If you are going to be medieval enough as to say that you think the man needs to have the dominant position in the relationship and be smarter than the girl (and I don't even understand how that is possible, because people are more educated in certain subjects than others, and there are many different types of 'smarts'), then I hope your attitude extends to being chivalrous and a perfect gentleman as well.

Read what Matt said. Grow up and come into the real world.

How can you promote the idea of guys being smarter than girls but dislike the idea of chivalry? Both are related to the idea of the man protecting the woman; saving the "damsel in distress"; and ultimately the man being dominant. If chivalry is dead, so is the concept that the man must be smarter. Or is it just another double standard?
ARMY101
#37 Posted : Sunday, January 23, 2011 10:24:29 PM
Rank: Grand Poobah


Joined: 3/3/2010
Posts: 19,406
lemony wrote:
ARMY101 wrote:
lemony wrote:
ARMY101 wrote:
jsaroya wrote:
find me a guy who legitimately doesn't mind a girl being smarter than him and i will.... i don't know, i don't even have to think of something to hand over because it's unlikely this could happen


I wouldn't want the girl I'm dating to be smarter than me. Even equal is a little tricky since I'm supposed to maintain the dominant position in the relationship.

There's a fine balance between dating someone who you have superiority over, but not so that they're so stupid they drool when they speak.

If you are going to be medieval enough as to say that you think the man needs to have the dominant position in the relationship and be smarter than the girl (and I don't even understand how that is possible, because people are more educated in certain subjects than others, and there are many different types of 'smarts'), then I hope your attitude extends to being chivalrous and a perfect gentleman as well.

Read what Matt said. Grow up and come into the real world.

How can you promote the idea of guys being smarter than girls but dislike the idea of chivalry? Both are related to the idea of the man protecting the woman; saving the "damsel in distress"; and ultimately the man being dominant. If chivalry is dead, so is the concept that the man must be smarter. Or is it just another double standard?

Your whole attitude about how "horrible" this would be or how it's a bad idea is disgusting, not my notion of ensuring dominance over my girlfriend. It keeps her happy and protected.
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Accepted:
University of Toronto: Social Sciences + Vic One (Pearson Stream)
Carleton University: Honours Science
University of British Columbia: Arts
mynameismattgotmlgo
#38 Posted : Sunday, January 23, 2011 11:39:10 PM
Rank: Student Body President


Joined: 12/22/2010
Posts: 1,935
lemony wrote:
How can you promote the idea of guys being smarter than girls but dislike the idea of chivalry?


I see only a minor link between these two ideas.

Chivalry is taking a man's devotion to his girlfriend or wife to the extreme. It is going beyond providing supplies and protection for his wife and going to an obsession with her and a compulsion to take care of her every needs. In the timeline of human evolution, chivalry is a new idea, just like other non-survival-related endeavours (such as philosophizing, conducting science experiments, writing poems, painting wonderful portraits, etc...). Chivalric acts aren't the types of things you'd expect a caveman to do for his cavewife. For much of human evolution, men were more concerned about killing mammoths and scaring away saber-tooth tigers than pulling out a chair for a lady to have a seat at a candle-lit dinner before watching a live performance at the Globe.

Wanting your girlfriend to be as smart or not as smart as you, though not significantly less smart, is tied to a much more appropriate level of dominance that a man naturally seeks over his significant other.

Also, you're asking a reason of feelings. Even if chivalry and a man wanting to be smarter than his gf/wife were logically the same, like you proposed, it wouldn't matter because we're talking about feelings. A man might have said, if your analogy were valid, "oh, good point. My feelings are irrational," but that wouldn't change his desire to have a gf/wife who is not as smart as he is. It's quite like me telling you that skydiving is safe and having you brush away my reasoning because your fear of jumping out the plane is mostly subconscious. A conscious reminder that skydiving is safe won't appeal to that level.
BMSc Honours Specialization in Medical Science, Minor in Psychology, UWO '09
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University Certificate in Finance, Athabasca University '12
Power Engineering Certificate, NAIT '14
lemony
#39 Posted : Monday, January 24, 2011 6:09:50 PM
Rank: Senior Student


Joined: 11/28/2010
Posts: 212
@Army101
Sorry, but I don't really understand what you said in your first sentence. I never said that I personally have a problem with chivalry or having a smarter boyfriend; this is merely a discussion. I am arguing that chivalry and dominance over the female can be related or should be. Gender roles have changed significantly (or been suppressed) since prehistory or even medieval times. It may also be against male instincts to let women have enough power as to vote, work, and be independent, and up until a few decades ago, it was like that. But times change quickly and while those deep instincts may never change, they can be ignored.

@mynameismatt
You are right that chivalry is a relatively newer idea and is more created than instinctual. That is a good point. Chivalry is not hardwired in a male's system while dominance is, although its that rooted desire for dominance that leads to chivalry. Chivalry is based on protecting and saving the female because she is helpless and must be taken care of. It is a form of dominance, alongside being smarter.
kaloolah
#40 Posted : Monday, January 24, 2011 7:18:24 PM
Rank: Senior Student




Joined: 12/19/2010
Posts: 177
Back to the whole "too smart for guys" thing.

I don't mind if a guy is a little bit less intelligent than me. As long as we can keep up a conversation, get along and are attracted to each other, then s'all good.


Hot, smart and nerdy guys are awesome though...just saying :P
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