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Too smart for guys? Options ▼
mynameismattgotmlgo
#41 Posted : Monday, January 24, 2011 7:23:25 PM
Rank: Student Body President


Joined: 12/22/2010
Posts: 2,029
lemony wrote:
@mynameismatt
You are right that chivalry is a relatively newer idea and is more created than instinctual. That is a good point. Chivalry is not hardwired in a male's system while dominance is, although its that rooted desire for dominance that leads to chivalry. Chivalry is based on protecting and saving the female because she is helpless and must be taken care of. It is a form of dominance, alongside being smarter.


Agreed that it is a form of dominance, but it is a much stronger form of dominance than a man wanting to be slightly smarter than or equal in intelligence to his wife.
BMSc Honours Specialization in Medical Science, Minor in Psychology, UWO '09
Bachelor of Pharmacy, University of Alberta '13 - Drop out as of '11
University Certificate in Finance, Athabasca University '12
Power Engineering Certificate, NAIT '14
snowman
#42 Posted : Monday, January 24, 2011 7:44:00 PM
Rank: Frosh


Joined: 1/11/2011
Posts: 35
ARMY101 wrote:
jsaroya wrote:
find me a guy who legitimately doesn't mind a girl being smarter than him and i will.... i don't know, i don't even have to think of something to hand over because it's unlikely this could happen


I wouldn't want the girl I'm dating to be smarter than me. Even equal is a little tricky since I'm supposed to maintain the dominant position in the relationship.

There's a fine balance between dating someone who you have superiority over, but not so that they're so stupid they drool when they speak.

well said. if only these boob-carrying, penis-inducing creatures called females, with all their smartness,could understand this concept.
Queen's Eng
lemony
#43 Posted : Monday, January 24, 2011 10:40:56 PM
Rank: Senior Student


Joined: 11/28/2010
Posts: 212
mynameismattgotmlgo wrote:
lemony wrote:
@mynameismatt
You are right that chivalry is a relatively newer idea and is more created than instinctual. That is a good point. Chivalry is not hardwired in a male's system while dominance is, although its that rooted desire for dominance that leads to chivalry. Chivalry is based on protecting and saving the female because she is helpless and must be taken care of. It is a form of dominance, alongside being smarter.


Agreed that it is a form of dominance, but it is a much stronger form of dominance than a man wanting to be slightly smarter than or equal in intelligence to his wife.

In what way is it stronger? Could you not say that "being smarter" is a stronger form of dominance because 1) it is based in instincts and has been such for thousands of years 2) it is present in all males, while chivalry is not? I have to admit though, I'm starting to confuse myself a little. It probably doesn't help that we might have slightly different opinions on what chivalry is.
mynameismattgotmlgo
#44 Posted : Monday, January 24, 2011 11:21:44 PM
Rank: Student Body President


Joined: 12/22/2010
Posts: 2,029
By chivalry, you're talking about the type in which a man must hold the door open for his girlfriend/wife, pull her chair out for her so that she can take a seat, pay for all or most of a restaurant bill all the time, etc...? That's the type of chivalry I'm talking about.

When a man does things like these for his wife, it suggests that he believes his wife is helpless and absolutely needs him to care for her. If she can't even open a door for herself, then how would she ever be able to survive without him? When a man prefers that his wife not be smarter than he is, really all he wants is to not be frequently upstaged by her. If she is constantly telling him he is wrong (and, therefore, suggests that he is stupid or incompetent), then is he going to feel capable of protecting her and able to provide her with supplies? Probably not. She'll seem to have the dominant role in the relationship. He is going to feel dependent on her, which is fine from a logical point of view (chances are she actually is just as capable as he is), but it just doesn't feel right. What else can I say? It's a feeling and, therefore, pretty difficult to describe.

The basic difference, though, is that in the case of chivalry, the man treats the woman like she is completely helpless (essentially like a baby); in the case of a man not wanting his wife to be smarter than he is, the man acknowledges that his wife is capable of doing her own thing and that she is likely more competent than him in some areas, but the man still wants to seem the more competent overall and, therefore, feel like his wife does depend on him to some slightly greater degree than he depends on her.

If you can't rest without knowing that the universe is just (which is what it seems you believe), know that the degree to which a man wants to have some dominance over his wife is approximately equal to the degree of unequal protection that a man provides for his wife. If a husband and wife are standing outside freezing, who do you think is most likely to give his or her jacket to the other?
BMSc Honours Specialization in Medical Science, Minor in Psychology, UWO '09
Bachelor of Pharmacy, University of Alberta '13 - Drop out as of '11
University Certificate in Finance, Athabasca University '12
Power Engineering Certificate, NAIT '14
Strive
#45 Posted : Tuesday, January 25, 2011 9:22:32 AM
Rank: Grand Poobah


Joined: 3/3/2010
Posts: 19,630
Sounds as though ridiculously stupid guys are doomed o.O


(By doomed I mean can't any get girls..compress )
**Shields**
Accepted:
University of Toronto: Social Sciences + Vic One (Pearson Stream)
Carleton University: Honours Science
University of British Columbia: Arts
kraken
#46 Posted : Tuesday, January 25, 2011 7:09:01 PM
Rank: Student Body Vice-President




Joined: 11/28/2010
Posts: 830
Holding doors open does not suggest that someone is helpless and incompetent. It's simple politeness in many cases (e.g. they'd-get-whacked-in-the-face-if-you-didn't).
University of Toronto (Trinity College)
Honours Bachelor of Arts, Majors in English and Psychology, questionable graduating year
StudentAtStPats
#47 Posted : Tuesday, January 25, 2011 9:32:43 PM
Rank: Senior Student


Joined: 1/24/2011
Posts: 210
This is a really sexist conversation... haha... And not all guys want dominance or have it wired to their brain so chill girls :o
Accepted to

University of Ottawa: Honors Bachlor of Health Sciences
University of Toronto: Health Sciences
University of Western Ontario: Medical Sciences (Physiology/Pharmacology)
Mcgill University: Life Sciences
Stranger
#48 Posted : Tuesday, January 25, 2011 10:10:46 PM
Rank: Student Council




Joined: 1/9/2011
Posts: 470
kraken wrote:
Holding doors open does not suggest that someone is helpless and incompetent. It's simple politeness in many cases (e.g. they'd-get-whacked-in-the-face-if-you-didn't).

Sometimes I hold doors open for guys, but the reversal of roles makes things awkward.
Me: *holds door open*
Guy: No, go ahead.
Me: *awkwardly goes ahead and feels selfish for doing so*

But, I'd find it awkward either way because I'm just awkward like that. ...
Waterloo - Computer Science (co-op) 2017
kaloolah
#49 Posted : Tuesday, January 25, 2011 10:37:35 PM
Rank: Senior Student




Joined: 12/19/2010
Posts: 177
Army:

Where did your "forums captain" thingy-ma-jig go?

Were you dis-appointed? Were you disappointed by your dis-appointment?
mynameismattgotmlgo
#50 Posted : Wednesday, January 26, 2011 1:24:42 AM
Rank: Student Body President


Joined: 12/22/2010
Posts: 2,029
kraken wrote:
Holding doors open does not suggest that someone is helpless and incompetent. It's simple politeness in many cases (e.g. they'd-get-whacked-in-the-face-if-you-didn't).


You're clearly not taking the context into consideration. We're not talking about the occasional door-opening; we're talking about a woman not leaving her car until her husband opened the door for her. That's not just simple politeness.
BMSc Honours Specialization in Medical Science, Minor in Psychology, UWO '09
Bachelor of Pharmacy, University of Alberta '13 - Drop out as of '11
University Certificate in Finance, Athabasca University '12
Power Engineering Certificate, NAIT '14
smilez39
#51 Posted : Friday, January 28, 2011 12:36:12 PM
Rank: Frosh


Joined: 1/28/2011
Posts: 5
wow. you definately deserved better. guys can be dumb sometimes and sooner or later he will be kicking himself, and your be off to bigger and better things.
give
#52 Posted : Saturday, January 29, 2011 10:29:59 PM
Rank: Frosh


Joined: 1/29/2011
Posts: 12
I'm not at all for dumbing yourself down, but guys like to be the hero.
More specifically, they secretly desire to be the hero.

You don't sound like you're one to dominate a conversation, but he may feel that you're so awesome he has nothing to offer you, nothing to contribute to the relationship.
In that way he may feel you're dominating the relationship (I don't mean that as in "I am woman, hear me roar"). Let's see...if you were on the same side playing tug-o-war, you're both pulling, but your legwork is the only effort making a difference, despite his efforts. No one wants to feel weak or useless.

The common answer here is "find a smarter/better guy"
That's great, but more importantly that man you have yet to meet must appreciate you. He must be captivated by you, and your intelligence ;)

You are more thatn just your IQ
SUMmer123456
#53 Posted : Wednesday, April 27, 2011 5:00:10 AM
Rank: Valedictorian


Joined: 4/27/2011
Posts: 539
Too secure for guys sounds more like it.
QCman
#54 Posted : Saturday, May 21, 2011 4:04:42 AM
Rank: Senior Student


Joined: 2/18/2011
Posts: 137
I only like smart girls ( partially why i went to queens commerce :p) however turns out, i have a thing for helthsci/lifesci ( med school bound girls) so im crap out of luck with commerce ladies.

For me being able to have a conversation and just being with a person is just as important as physical attraction.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kozv2POJS0I
Queen's Commerce 2014
pandasbox
#55 Posted : Tuesday, May 24, 2011 7:31:42 PM
Rank: Senior Student




Joined: 1/30/2011
Posts: 77
ARMY101 wrote:
You need to get knocked off your high horse. I hope someone puts you in your place.

I only read the first page, but honey, he's right. It sounds to me like you're fishing for compliments. Although it's possible that your ex broke up with you because you were too smart, that's usually not a good reason for a guy to break up with you, especially not all the guys you've dated (I know this because I'm a smart girl who's dated a few guys myself).

Take my advice with a grain of salt, from what I've read, maybe it's not your intelligence that scared him away, it might have been your pretentious attitude when you were with him. How else could he address his girlfriend's snobbery so early on in the relationship? Maybe between his compliments, he was trying to bring it to your attention. In relationships, often what is unsaid is just as important as what was said.

I'm not trying to be cruel, I wish you all the best in future relationships. Churchill said it very well: "Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things." And finally, you can never be too smart for guys.
uwnanoeng16
BFishy
#56 Posted : Tuesday, May 24, 2011 7:48:11 PM
Rank: Frosh


Joined: 5/23/2011
Posts: 7
In response to OP.

It's not because you're smart. You probably have bad breath, are a bad kisser or are ugly or some crap. Probably just really ugly.
littleroom
#57 Posted : Friday, June 17, 2011 2:32:21 AM
Rank: Valedictorian


Joined: 12/20/2010
Posts: 597
Super wrote:
How old are you guys? I've always heard that girls will develop faster than guys biologically.

This sounds like an excuse a paedophile would give.
SUMmer123456
#58 Posted : Sunday, June 19, 2011 3:50:51 AM
Rank: Valedictorian


Joined: 4/27/2011
Posts: 539
Super wrote:
littleroom wrote:
Super wrote:
How old are you guys? I've always heard that girls will develop faster than guys biologically.

This sounds like an excuse a paedophile would give.


Relax... it`s an honest question. tongue

OP: A/S/L?


Don't you have girls at your school that you could go for?
BrownianMotion
#59 Posted : Sunday, June 19, 2011 10:31:46 AM
Rank: Frosh


Joined: 4/17/2011
Posts: 39
LOL

I doubt this is a problem that any girl has ever had.

"Too smart for a guy." Priceless!
I probably don't like you. Sucks for you.
SUMmer123456
#60 Posted : Sunday, June 19, 2011 1:31:22 PM
Rank: Valedictorian


Joined: 4/27/2011
Posts: 539
BrownianMotion wrote:
LOL

I doubt this is a problem that any girl has ever had.

"Too smart for a guy." Priceless!


Like all good things in life. This problem resides in the mind of the beholder.
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